86 Times People Went On Such A Terrible First Date, They Bailed In The Middle Of It

First dates are usually a bit weird and awkward. But when the person uses you to cover an expensive restaurant bill or tries to recruit you to a pyramid scheme, they're unbearable.

A few weeks ago, Redditor u/Eseohii posted a question to r/AskReddit, saying "Those who've walked out on first dates, what was your 'I'm out of here' moment?" and people instantly filled the comment section with crazy characters and surprising stories.

Here are some of them.


Had a first date with a girl who insisted we go to a really expensive place, where she ordered a $25 dollar appetizer, $45 steak and a $15 drink. She wouldn't put down her phone, kept taking calls and answering texts. The waitress noticed and motioned for me from behind her. I excused myself, and the waitress had separate bills all made up and asked if I wanted to pay my share and leave her at the table. I said, "That would be wonderful!" So I did.

Image credits: ELPwork


This guy and I were eating dinner after chatting for a couple of weeks, and unprompted (in the middle of something I was saying) and completely unrelated to what was being discussed he said something along the lines of, “So you know in order for this to work you’re gonna have to share yourself right? My friends and I like to pass girls around.”

I was pretty dumbfounded and after a bit of stuttering I told him I didn’t think it was going to work, asked for a to-go box and my portion of the check, and noped the f**k outta there.

Image credits: Kultaren


Blind date - she took to a fetish party - asked me if i wanted to pee on a guy with her- told her no thanks I'll use the urinal this time and split.

Image credits: 2ndHandAdultToy


Went to meet a guy for the first time at his house. There was a pile of toenail clippings on his coffee table. And it wasn’t one recent clipping. It was like, many clippings. Out the door I went.

Image credits: Amos_Moses83


On a first date with a military guy. He spent a large portion of the date talking about why the strippers in Toronto were better than the strippers where we lived. To change the topic, I asked him if he did any volunteer work with the military overseas and he said "NO! I joined the military to kill people not help people!" I got my bill, chugged my beer, and left as fast as I could.

Image credits: ldid


First date we are at a Japanese restaurant. She asked me my star sign, I replied "Scorpio". She leaned over the table and slapped me clean & hard across the face. Naturally I was shocked and confused, I mouthed "What...?", she firmly says "I NEVER date Scorpios". I went to the bathroom, came back - she had gone, and paid for everything.

Image credits: TheBlackRoomba


Went to pick up my blind date. She opened the door and looked at me.


I looked at her and said "Yeah, I agree" and turned on my heel and left. Total date time Less than 5 minutes.

Image credits: Outlander56


I had to pick him up and he complained about everything. My car, the way I drove, my music taste, why was I being so quiet while carefully plotting my escape plan. Definitely the moment he said “My friends really want to meet you. I need them to know you’re real.” Annnnnnndddddd that’s when I bounced.

Image credits: guacnchip


Great chats online, decided to meet in person.

He's got a blue tooth headset with a little LED light that shows it's on. He keeps it on during drinks. I work up the nerve to ask if he can take off the headset while we're eating dinner.

With pride and complete confidence he says, "Don't worry! You totally have my full attention. This isn't a phone headset, it's a camera."

Image credits: anarchypretzel


He was 45 minutes late picking me up (weather was quite poor so I gave him a pass)

Get to the coffee shop, take off my jacket and immediately he says, “I see you brought your A game, or should I say, D game “ referring to my breasts. (I’m surprisingly busty for my frame)

Even the people 2 tables over just stopped and looked at him.

Image credits: That_wrench_wench


We chatted online. At the time I was a smoker and told him. He said no big deal because he smokes too. Decided to meet up at Starbucks for coffee. First thing he said, "hi. By the way when I said I smoke, I was talking about meth."

I said "oh, bye". And turned around and left.


He invited me and a friend to play dodgeball with a group of folks I’ve never met. We’re having an ok time, he’s paying more attention to his friends but that’s fine because I’ve got my friend to keep me occupied. We’re hanging out in the parking lot before the first game is about to start when out of nowhere he grabs a ball and throws it at my crotch as hard as he can. This motherf**ker screams “wham, bam, right in the clam!”

I immediately turn to my friend and ask her if she’s ready to leave. I say goodbye to him and his friends. Immediately come home to a grip of texts about how “immature” I was behaving.

Image credits: Monpetitvulcan616


Not me but this happened to a friend. Context: friend has a beard. So my friend picks up this girl and they’re on their way to dinner and she says “You do realize that if this is gonna work you have to shave that off right?” He didn’t say anything, just turned around and dropped her back off at her house

Image credits: Jeborisboi


She finally let it slip that she had a bf lol "but it was totally fine bc things had been going bad for a long time and she was going to break up with him." My thoughts were that if she would do that to him she'd do it to me. No thanks.

Image credits: Powerctx


The fact that within 10 minutes of meeting him he started making sexual comments and "joking" about following me home so he could stalk me if I rejected him.

I got out with the help of a bartender who let me leave out the back door.

Image credits: VaginalSharknado


I had invited a guy off a dating site to my house. When I opened the door, he said he could kill me if he wanted, and to never meet anyone off the internet again.

My two male roommates were in the kitchen because they knew this guy was coming, and heard him. They ran him out of the house pdq


First date. Went bowling, turned around and he was going through my phone. A little soon, I think....

Image credits: Notathrowawaysleeve ·


She looked over my shoulder and said, “Oh, my other date is here.”

Image credits: toddwdraper


I had a first date with a girl who told me, "Actually I'm engaged but I'm not 100% sure if he's the right one. So I'm going to go out on a few dates to see if I change my mind."

Check please!

Image credits: gold_and_diamond


When I realized she was trying to get her ex get jealous of me. She chose the place and time and it was where her ex worked at that time.

Left and apologized to the ex.

Later she texted me saying that she'd forgive me for the faux pas if went to another date-she still picked the same time and place. I ghosted her.



When he asked me to change my clothes because they were not sexy enough and told me what I had to order for food… he ended the date by talking about his gun collection…


Walked into a guy’s house and heard his mom yell out “Guy, who the hell is that? I told you I didn’t want no more girls in here!” Turned around and walked out.

Image credits: womIntrovert84


For a while I had on my okcupid profile that I would accept any reasonably pitched invitation to a date. This led to many bad dates.

A notably bad one: guy invites me to a party. I ask a few questions but he's kinda vague. Tells me to dress nice. It ends up being a religious family holiday. He told his family I was his girlfriend.

I went with it.

Image credits: MeghanAM


The first time I dated someone from Tinder, the date turned out to be a recruiting event for one of those Costa Coffee pyramid scams.
Apparently the guy was missing his quota so he used Tinder as a recruiting tool. Unfortunately for him, I realized quickly what it was and left ASAP. F**k that guy.

Image credits: unlimitedanna


Having the usual get to know you conversation over drinks. I was telling how my car was stolen the night before and her response was.."Don't you just hate blacks?" I never said who stole it....I was out of there...


I met a girl in small bookstore, we seemed to hit it off so I asked her out. She took me to a nearby ATM to get some cash for dinner and she and her partner tries to rob me. They had been having some success with the setup over the summer, so the SFPD was watching ATMs in the area and arrested them both.

I spent the night at the police station being interviewed and writing my statement; No dinner, no first date sex, and the shop sold the book I wanted.

Image credits: Steampunker683


A dude was under the impression that because I used an ice cream cone emoji I had consented to bathroom-at-bar-sex . I was like “hell no” and he looked at me like I told him I was a flat earther


I drove us. Started to parallel park (been working/parking in SF for years by then) and he said, “I’ll park this for you, women don’t do well at parallel parking.” At dinner he was dismissive only to female wait staff.

I ran into these two hilariously drunk surfer dudes on my way from the bathroom, they told me my date was a jerk. We laughed about it and I went back to my table.

When leaving, the drunk dudes were also outside, I said bye to them and Assholio had the nerve to bark, “she’s with me!”

I told him to wait while I got in the car and unlocked the doors..except I didn’t. I drove off and left him standing there. The two drunk dudes whooped and yelled go, lady, go! Such an awesome finish to a terribly embarrassing date.


I sat down across from him and within 5 mins of meeting me he tried to slide his hand up my dress under the table. Yikes.


She had 22 cats and would just randomly take in strays. Not give them any vet care and was planning on keeping a recent litter. I love cats... I paid the bartender when she went to the bathroom and hyper walked to the door. Forwarded her contact info and a summary of what she told me to the humane society.


Guy wanted to meet a place I use to work at, I showed up and he was already there. I order vodka and we're glaring into the menu while his shots arrive and he's just pounding them. Base bartender is giving the stinkeye, I know him so I'm like WTF. The date steps out for the bathroom or vape and the bartender beelines to my table to warn me this guy is a raging alcoholic that "f**ked around" with his cousin a few months back. I noped right out of there.


He started making comments about my “puss” then took me to his house to use the bathroom before the next part of our date (we had lunch first, then were supposed to play mini golf). Didn’t know he lived with his parents so I had to meet them ON THE FIRST F**KING DATE. They were nice but I felt so uncomfortable because I already knew this wasn’t going to move beyond date #1 thanks to his puss remarks. He told me to wait in his room while he went to the bathroom and I noticed that his computer was on. Before our date he was chatting with a friend and he left it up on the screen. The last message he’d sent said “I hope I get to see internet_poser’s tits I bet they’re so perky and small.” The f**k? Why leave that up and send me in there to see it? I lied saying that my mom called with an emergency and needed me back home, noped the f**k out and never spoke to him again.


She wouldn't stop making fun of me. She was 26 and I was 36 (though if it matters, we were at the same place in our careers/income) and she kept making ageist jokes about how I was old and decrepit. Eventually, after telling her pretty directly to lay off, I just said "you know, I'm not enjoying this, I'm going to go," and paid for the table and left.

Later she said it was because she was overcompensating because she was self-conscious about how much younger she was, but that just means that when she's uncomfortable she goes straight to demeaning the other person.


She brought her pet rat with her that was hanging out in her bra, feeding it french fries. She casually mentioned she had warrants, so I just faked an emergency and bailed.

Image credits: tacobelmont


Told me that I should stop going to the gym bc he could barely get me as is and if I lost weight I’d be too hot and he’d have no chance


I work in fine dining. A friend of mine showed up to my restaurant on a first date with a guy who arrived DRUNK as a f**king skunk. She's an absolutely beautiful, hilarious woman with a great career, truly a catch. Friday night, full restaurant, their table in the middle of the floor where everyone could see. He continued to burn through 3 bottles of wine, started making some bad "jokes" about her looking "loose." She suggested he stop drinking. He reached across the table and slapped her. We all ushered her out, a bunch of men at other tables were about to beat his ass but we held them back until he paid his bill. He didn't have enough money, said he was planning on making her split the $300 tab with him. We called the cops. Bye Patrick.

Another time, I helped a woman sneak out the back of our restaurant after eavesdropping on her horrible date. Their table was right by the service station. He had spent the entirety of the date complaining about his ex girlfriend's eating disorder. From the minute they sat down and ordered drinks, "oh wow, you're having wine? That's so refreshing. My ex was f**king anorexic, she had to count calories of f**king everything. Blah blah blah etc etc." The dude never stopped. Woman dipped out in between first and second course.


He told me I wasn’t pretty enough to be so confident. Like what??? I was shocked but the server came to my rescue and was like girl get outta here no charge for your drink!


He was a friend of a friend. He went to a restaurant and ordered our food. While we waited he started to say things like “First I’ll eat this meal then I’ll eat you out”. I laughed cause I thought he’s just joking. I thought he’s just nervous and his mouth lost his filter.

Then when the waitress later asked if we want more to drink he was like “Yes, bring us something strong” I said not for me and that i have to drive later and just want a coke and he looked at me and was like “Don’t be stupid. You think I’ll f**k you once and let you leave? You’ll at least stay the night” The waitress looked at me with wide eyes like im crazy for even being there. After she left I told him that he has to stop with this that it was rude and that we’re on our first date.

He apologized and for 10 min it was okay. Then, as if a switch was turned on he said just like that (mid sentence without even ending his previous story) “You know what, I can’t control myself anymore. Either we go now or I’ll f**k you on this table” I told him I’ll go to the bathroom. He complained like a baby that we have to go now. I went anyway and went to the waitress, payed for the food and left without a word.


We were back at her place, she pulled out a giant glass jar that was full of what I thought was moonshine. She proceeded to explain to me that it’s 100% GHB and that her kink is to be drugged with it before sex. She went into the bathroom and I got the hell out of there so fast that my imprint on the couch probably wasn’t gone by the time I was driving.


On my very first date ever, I go to a movie with my girlfriend that I also had my first kiss with about a week earlier at a dance. She doesn't mention anything about this, but she ends up bringing her sister. Her IDENTICAL TWIN sister. I had no idea who was who all date long and didn't find a way to ask. She later tells my friend she thinks I am more into her sister than her.

Very awkward. Much confused.

Image credits: Interrupting-Dash


1pm lunch date and she was drunk as a skunk. She invited me back to her place, where she said her 2 year old son wouldn't even notice. I noped out and called her a cab home.

I still feel bad for the son years later.


My first ever date was in the library. I come from a conservative family and wasn't allowed to date. So, I asked this guy to come to the library. We studied for a couple of hours together. I was 17.


More funny than bad. She opened the door, saw she was taller than me with her heels, says "OMG I have to change my shoes" and closes the door in my face.". That is OK I left my wallet in my car and she paid that night.


My first date ever in life: Took a guy out to lunch. His friend randomly shows up, sits down, and orders food. They start texting each other then randomly get up and leave, sticking me with the bill. I found out later that they went to have sex.

Image credits: Locomotion15


Hadn't even met the guy yet - we were still chatting online to set up the first date. We were going to be busy at different times that weekend, but I was interested and sincerely offered to meet a week later instead.

He proceeded to get drunk by himself and sent a ton of sad messages about how he couldn't get a date and he was unattractive and I was totally gonna bail on him. Which wasn't the plan before, but it certainly was now!


Went first for a walk, he did not shut up for a like minute for one hour, complains about everything and everyone in his life, not even ask nor allow me to give a comment.

Set down, he orders food for me, without even asking; get's his drink, bartender mentions the caps are difficult to open, but he arrogantly and rudely brushes him off, tries to open them himself but ends up spilling juice all over himself. Yells like it was the staff's fault and how the country he is from is superior. No regard for people, just yelling. At that point, I wanted to get under the table because that was actually a restaurant I frequently visit (from a small town with just a handful of restaurants). Continues to talk about how superior and above all that "incompetence" he is, and when he becomes manager, he would fire people like that. Continues with complaints for another hour.

I offer to split the check considering that he talked about money issues and because I obviously did not want to see him ever again so did not want to feel like I "owe" him anything. He yells at me, I leave the money on the table, walk-off. He basically continues yelling at stuff for going after check again with the "in my country" talk about how they have it on the spot. Grabs my hand and says angrily to wait for him. Asked me literally 2 questions finally, I say I will grab a taxi but he forcefully insists to walk me home. To avoid him making another scene, I accept.

We walk in silence, I try to have him off and leave, he insists to follow me home how there are probably some "dangerous" people around, he tried to force himself on me on my front door (the one of the yard, fence or how it is called), even though I said I don't think it will work. Exact words, "you owe it to me, we went on a date, I did not waste my money for nothing". I literally pushed him off (he was skinnier) and threw another 20$ (besides the ones I already left for my meal in the restaurant) at his face, saying "here, we are done", got instantly in the yard, locked the fence, while hearing him yell, and sent him a text that I will call the police if he does not get the f**k out of there. He left.

The worst part is, his aunt was our neighbor, my mom knew his mom and were good friends, and the next day, on my way out she literally had the audacity to ask "how did it all went" (I am pretty sure she heard him screaming awful things since literally, their house is like 10m from mine, across the street, literally) and I told her just "you should have raised him better". They never spoke to me again. I am absolutely fine with that.


Date one - seemed nice so invited him in for literal coffee... attempted rape, I broke his nose.

He texted the next day to ask if we could pick up where we left off.

He was a doctor in a women's psychiatric unit, and he knew where I lived. I moved 4 weeks later.


He kept saying things like ‘I hope people from school see us together so they stop calling me gay’ and then spoke about my friends (m) genitals, then asked if he could come to the toilet with me. It was valentine’s day, we never spoke again


This is meeting someone from an online dating app... He turned up with pupils the size of dinner plates, and super erratic. He said he'd forgotten his wallet so I got the first round. We were on the way to the second pub to meet his mates so they could lend him some money. For the walk there he spoke absolute garbage/nonsense non stop but ended with how he tried to drown his exes chihuahuas in a pool. Near the pub he said he had to answer whoever was calling him on the phone ( at this point we were 30 minutes into the date and already going to the next pub, he'd downed his drink in about 3 seconds) whilst he stood there on the phone I said I would meet him at the pub(everything was all in close proximity) but instead walked past it and ran all the way home.


First red flag should’ve been his age—turned out he’d fibbed on his dating profile and was actually my dad’s age—but I vowed to muddle thru. In our pre-date conversations, I’d mentioned I was into F1 racing and he said he’d attended the Canadian Gran Prix…and, 2nd red flag, he brought an ancient photo album to prove it. Before he got to the blurry Gran Prix photos, he flipped past yellowing boudoir photos of 1970s era girlfriends and an ex-wife or two (think Farrah Fawcet hair, turquoise eyeshadow, and cheap, nylon babydoll negligees), and a Polaroid of a lovely Irish Setter. I said something like, “what a pretty dog,” and he replied “yeah, I accidentally backed over him with my truck one Christmas morning.” Merry Christmas kids, dad flattened Rusty. I finished my drink and went home.


We met at the restaurant, I had arrived first to get a table, the server showed her over, we shook hands, I pushed her chair in. The server asked if we would like a drink or to hear the specials. She picked up the menu, asked the server for a wine list without even looking at them, looked intently at me and said "how much money do you make?" I said "excuse me?" In a confused tone somewhat taken aback. She stared at me and said very slowly and deliberately "how much money do you make in a year?" I looked over at the server who was still standing there with a really awkward look on their face, thanked them for their assistance so far. Turned to my "date" and said I was sorry but I had to leave, and I got up and walked out.


We were talking about out pets and I told her about my cat and she said if we were to continue dating I would have to get rid of him because she doesn't like cats. For a moment I thought she was kidding because who would ask that of a first date (or any date). It became clear she wasn't kidding and was mad I wasn't taking her suggestion seriously. I didn't end up leaving, I was in the middle of my fettuccine alfredo and I wasn't about to scoop it into some doggy bag like some caveman. She took an Uber.

I haven't had many memorably bad dates, but that was the worst. Im willing to make certain reasonable changes for the right person, but cats are non-negotiable.


The girl pointing a gun at the waitress


Scolded me for telling the waitress what I wanted instead of conferring. BC " you're in a relationship now. You need to think about "we" not "me"." Ah. Ok. Bye.


Met a girl on Tinder, arranged to go to lunch, arrived at restaurant. So far, things are going well. She is late... I messaged her "hey, you still coming to lunch?". No response. I decide to wait 15 more minutes (30 minutes total). Just sitting at a table in my university's main dining spot. I leave. That sucked but it happens. She messages me a day later "Oh, sorry I didn't feel like going." I guess it's technically not a date but damn that sucked.


I once took this idiot on a date, she wanted me to pretend it was her birthday so she can get a free dessert. I thought it was a joke until dinner ended and she got up from the table and said "alrighty I'm going to the bathroom, call the waiter over and tell them it's my birthday."

I didn't and when she got back she legitimately got upset with me. She said it was free and I should of just done it, then said we would just order it instead....

I wanted that chocolate cake but out of spite I told her my stomach was hurting, paid for the bill, then jetted out to my buddies party.


The girl didn't know it was a date.

Image credits: Palifaith


Invited me to a bar which was apparently close to his apt, and kept wanting to "snuggle" at his apt with me. I left to a friend's party and met the man I've been with for 3+ years. The first guy later texted me a d**k pic on Easter Sunday.


He told me he had too many back issues of The Economist to read so he couldn’t read anything I might suggest ever.


He told me his fiancé of 9 years had dumped him the week before.


Only happened once, she kept talking about her ex, I asked if she wanted to get back with him , she said I dont know and showed me a picture of him.. couldn't leave fast enough


It seemed to be going alright for a while. We meet late afternoon and went for a stroll around town doing a little bit of a pub crawl with a drink at each followed by some food at a monthly food truck festival I knew about which was going to be followed by a local bar and dancing. I kept seeing the same guy at all the locations obviously following us. On a toilet break I mentioned something to one of the pub doormen who asked him to leave politely although that got a little heated. She ran over to the doorman and explained that it was her husband. They had a thing of watching each other go out with someone and maybe watching them have sex. I did drop in a question if they had ever done more like stealing from someone and she accidently said it had happened, but only a couple of times before trying to say that she didn't mean that. I left them with the doormen and reported them to the police.


I go to a bar and meet this cute girl and we get along pretty fine, she invites me back to her place but it turned out that she was with her friends at the bar and they were just giving her some space for us to talk. They were all drunk and her friend was insisting on driving home so she (her friend) agreed to let me drive them home because the friend was very set on not leaving her truck parked outside a bar overnight. We get all the way to their apartment complex and then getting into the parking spot was tricky so the drunk friend/truck owner insisted on parking (and pulled the "I legally own this vehicle" card). I was some guy her friend just met at a bar so I was like "...okay then". Within 5 seconds she backs the truck into a drainage ditch and gets it stuck. We all have to push the truck and get covered in mud. While we were doing that, the girl I met at the bar had lost her wallet so I dug through the mud water ditch at like 4am and didn't find her wallet. We get back to her place and the mood is definitely ruined, so we end up eating a random cheese and meat platter from Safeway on her kitchen floor at like 4am. I sleep on the couch and wake up early and I think "well, she was great it was just the whole truck thing that ruined it."

I look for a pen and paper to write down my number before leaving, all I can find is a piece of paper taped to the (inside of) the door. It was a court date notice for a domestic violence/abuse hearing. I just left and chalked it up as a strange night.


Blind date set up by my GRANDPARENTS. I love my grandad and he’s done so much for me so I went. We met at a bar where my best friend worked. We get drinks and I’m talking to my friend. He says “this homo trying to hook up with you?” 1. He’s not gay 2. It wouldn’t matter if he was 3. He was just checking in on me.

So I’m already done with him at this point but my ride is still over an hour away. His mate shows up at one point and starts trying to flirt with me. It was gross. My date then starts asking about “my hot friends” and if I can get them to come out. I said “I like my friends so… no” He starts being racist against Pacific Islanders. And was horribly rude to this German guy there drinking. when my ride gets there I said “I’m leaving.” He said “I’ve got a big d**k, you should come home with me” I said “thanks but I’d rather gouge out my eyes”

The next day he messaged me and said “you probably think I’m a bit of a c**t after last night but do you want to go out again” I had no intentions of ever seeing him again so I explained why his behaviour was unacceptable and suggested he try making friends who are girls so he sees them as something other than a hole to stick his d**k in.

I told my grandparents everything. They told his parents and apparently his dad was super embarrassed.

My grandparents were then informed to stay out of my love life and any time they brought it up I just say “I’ve got a big d**k, you should come home with me”


He did a racist impression of his Asian professor while we were having dinner in a Vietnamese restaurant.

He picked me up and drove though so I didn't leave on the spot. When we got in his car after dinner he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. I made up an excuse as to why I couldn't. He made 2 calls on Bluetooth to hang out with other people while I was still in the car. It wasn't even while driving back, the car was still in park.


The whole date she wouldn't get off of her phone. She would only answer any of my questions with a "hmm" or "ok yeah" without even looking up. I finally gave up and said I was going to use the restroom and never saw her again.


All in about 10 min: -Got to the bar after him. He had a glass of water on the table and slid it to me after I sat down. I said it’s okay, he could have it and I would get my own. He scoffed and told me I “don’t even know anything about being roofied” (I do)


She claimed she could see angels in 3 different colors, and mentioned how one time a girl that was covered in dark scales and red glowing streaks between the scales came to her in the middle of the night and crawled to her bed. She claimed she placed her hand on the girl and an evil spirit left her. She then said that while I was in the bathroom, an angel came to her and told her when I would die, what age, and how.

I told her I'd be right back and that I left something in the bathroom. I left the place outright, completely creeped out and wondering wtf kind of person she was and what strange stuff she is getting into


He refused to tell me how old he was and asked me out thinking I was "max 20 years old" (From our conversation, I gathered that he was in his late 30s/early 40s, I was 22). I faked an emergency and left.


Invited me inside while he finished getting ready, no biggie. Once inside he insisted that I let him show me his "dungeon". Dudes apartment was pretty empty, minus a t.v and couch, but his bedroom was kitted out. He then wanted now uncomfortable me to see if the shackles on his bed fit me. Thankfully, I had set up for a friend to call me within the first 30 mins of the date and I faked an emergency.


He stared at my chest the entire time and told me he was in love with me.

We had known each other three days.


When he hit me with, "you could totally be a model if you lost some weight."


Bragged about how much money he had. Asked me how short I was on rent saying he’d give me the money right now. I was not short on rent, never said I was. Told me he could afford an Uber x but would buy me an Uber pool home bc he didn’t know me that well.


Asked me not to bull**it him and be honest: would I go on a second date with him. I said no. He stood up and screamed at me in the bar about how I’m the most shallow person he’d ever met and that the only possible reason I would say no is because he’s not good looking enough for me.


When it turned out that having no teeth (met online; all his pics were close-mouthed smiles) meant that he spewed gummed up food all over the table, and even into my drink. No.


He wouldn’t really talk. I tried asking him multiple questions but he just sat there staring at me. I finally gathered the courage and get up and leave after about 20 minutes. Glad I was at a local Timmys.


He brought two friends along which was unexpected. They were all drunk. I flagged down a waitress while one guy left to go do something. I ordered my food, the other two confessed they'd already eaten. Third guy walks back in to the restaurant, dripping blood from a horrific gash in his arm. In shock, I ran to my car & grabbed my first aid kit, cleaned & butterflied the wound, bandaged it, had the guy elevate his arm while the waitress called 911. Got cleaned up, returned to find the un-injured guys had just eaten my food. Grabbed my kit & my purse and walked out.


First date over Chinese he begins to detail the hentai he watches… everyday of the week. I just got up and walked away.


Went to meet a woman in her 30's at a Starbucks. I show up to see a woman pushing 50 (maybe more) and much larger than she claimed to be. She immediately started talking about sex and asking me what positions were my favorite and all these "have you ever done...." type questions. This was in the middle of a crowded Starbucks with children around. She started reaching across the table and trying to grab my hand and touch me to which I told her that PDA makes me uncomfortable (this was a lie, but I didn't want to cause a scene or hurt her feelings). I told her that I wasn't feeling too well and that I should probably go. She followed me out and grabbed my ass and started trying to push herself against me and trying to kiss me. I told her again I was not comfortable with PDA and after several repeats of this she finally let me get in my car. Got the f**k out of there and took some time away from the dating scene after that encounter.


Met up with a dude that I’d been talking to online in a different town. Met up at his house to make plans on what to do/where to go, and he said he needed to grab something and he’d meet me in the car. Heard coughing/hacking from the back room, went to see if he was okay and he was huffing duster and on the verge of blacking out. I noped the f**k out of there and went home.


Was talking to a guy who was a Maths professor, invited me on a date to an outdoor play where he was playing an "important role". I show up to see it's a church picnic and he was playing the devil. Introduced me to his family and all they talked about was Weird Al music, they didn't listen to anything BUT weird Al. Then his sister got on a loud tangent about why I went to a private school since unknownest to me he had told them everything about me and every conversation we had. Faked an emergency to get out of there, he wanted to take me to the state fair for a second date with his with his whole family


Legitimately when she said she needed to take a wee as we walked down a back alley to the next bar. She pulled her jeans down, TOOK A S**T behind a bin, then searched in the bin and wiped with a sheet of newspaper.

I was totally infatuated with her after working with her for a few months and in 30 seconds it disappeared, fast.


I honestly tried to be tactful, at each step, but it was the way it kept escalating.

First date over dinner she let slip that she had a 2 year old (us late 20s ish). OK fine, that’s a new element to this which I never heard before the date.

Then “his dad was a sugar daddy”, uhhhh OK? Well I am not to judge.

Oh and then “but he isn’t looking to be a dad, he just pays me child support.” Righto.

“I still get messages when he’s horny, but I promise to end it when we are exclusive.” Oh good.

“I definitely want more kids, but he is reluctant because he would be paying more, so he’s been pulling out.” Mhm…

“Do you want to come back to my place?” Say what now?

“Oh but I’m on birth control! You can cum in me babe it’s OK, don’t worry.” Yeah nah I’m good. I’m convinced I was about to become a donor for her next paycheck.


When she asked how much I made, then told me that her ex makes double and that she needed that type of money to survive and needed a place to live as well and asked if I was willing to work more to make that type of money for her.

I told her it had been something close to nice, and told her she can go back to her ex and saw her to the door. When she asked how to get out of the building, I just let the door close.


She talked about how much she missed her ex and how she used to stalk him. They got into a fight one time at the airport, he left to go home, she raced to his house, went up the balcony to sneak into his house just to wait for him when he got home.


She says, "You'll just have to accept that I don't like black people."

It would be obvious enough that she was a piece of s**t, but I also have 3 kids who are mixed so, yeah she could f**k right off.